How To Stop Comparing To Others?

I had a wonderful moment looking out to an invisible horizon in the pitchdark night – somewhere out on the Caribbean Sea.

Good morning Sunday. 

Let’s together dive into the topic of today: How to stop comparing. I think it is very appropriate to think of right now, specifically when social media is everywhere and we seem to have some difficulties in general, to turn this off. 

I will have quite a busy spring as far as I can see. I listed things I need to do before fully developing this website, so I wanted to set a little bit of notice here. I will return in late June with more articles and continue writing posts about personal development, how to become a better person and how we can grow. It is a topic I have fallen in love with and I wish to continue this road. So, after this post – we will see more of each other in late June! 

Here comes however a moment where we can sit down and learn more of how to avoid comparing ourselves to other!  

How To Stop Comparing To Others? 

  • Realize that we are the ones responsible for ourselves. Another one’s success or failure does not affect us. 

I Get Perfection Spammed in My Face All the Time 

Yes, there is a lot of discussions about how we now today do not just simply compare ourselves to the hoard of people in our little fairy tale village. No, we get a “glimpse” of a “perfect” life across the world. Which means that if we had one so-called competitor in our village, we are nowadays competing against a hoard all over the world. There are some serious scientific articles about how this biologically works us within, and most debate with the fact that we are put in a more stressful mode. The importance is to learn how to head our focus to the right things, also known as to what brings us a positive day. 

Let’s together share a few advice on how we can change our focus from comparing ourselves. Important to note is that trying to push down another life with negativity in some way of lifting ourselves up is a way of comparing too. And certainly not a healthy one. Example of this is to like – saying that the instagram perfect woman probably is miserable behind the scenes. Because even if that might be so (as we have learned) that is not the point at all. The point is to learn that she can be happy or not happy – and still shrug our arms as we focus on our own life instead.

  • Creating a new Instagram. 

If we are addicted to this, or Pinterest, Youtube etc. we may be both following other accounts but an algorithm causes us to get similar images in our flow. This can of course change after a bit of effort and time given, liking and simply searching for something else. But if we like to start fresh and clean, which is the one I recommend with the slightest chance of a percentage failure in our discipline – it would be that we create a new account. A secret one. An account where we only embrace positiveness. We choose the accounts we follow thoughtfully. We carefully pick the images or pictures we deliver, and we are simply more aware of what we do, always with positiveness in the back of our minds. This will lead to a little golden chamber for us, where we always can pick up a bit of energy and motivate us, truly inspire us from within. 

I did this. As they very often say “We are a combination of the five closest people around us.” Of course we must think of whom we have around us, hopefully one that brings us up. But, choosing the five people we have around us on internet or social media is equally important. So that would be our first thing. To choose the ones we surround ourselves with is crucial. 

We can think of that perfect image we find somewhere on social media. And it will stick with us in the back of our heads. But really, why? We can of course think of this person probably taking 1000 pictures and simply uploading the single one that appears perfect, after editing it several times and putting hours of work behind. The thing is – it truly does not matter. In the end of the day, we have our lives no matter what. We are who are and we can “only” achieve being the best version of ourselves. There really is to no use comparing ourselves to others, if not making the difference of…

I Cannot Have That!/How Can I Have That? 

Do we see the difference here? One is inspired and truly believes within, that he or she can achieve something, grow and learn. While the other one with a fixed mindset has more of a victimized position. Everything lies within the power of the mind. Choose the second one in the title. It is such a more beautiful way of viewing the world. The images we face on social media and if they happen to trigger an emotion in us; make it be one that urges us to motivation. A sensation of growing and becoming a better version of ourselves. 

How Can We Become the Best Version of Ourselves? 

The paragraph above is a great advice. In general, we need to see how we constantly grow. Children blossoming into grown-ups are not just the ones growing as person. We do throughout life itself. Which means that tomorrow can always bring a better person that we are today. Think of this saying, which I for that matter probably have mentioned before: “What can I do today to make tomorrow a little better?” 

When it comes to comparing to others, a lot is maybe set in our self-love. That we need to start loving ourselves, taking care of ourselves. It goes hand in hand. The responsibility of ourselves needs to lay in our hands and we must realize that we are responsible of our lives. No one else. Even if we perhaps like to put it that way. Which is not hard to understand why. It lightens up the pressure on our shoulders. However it is not the way to go if we wish to improve. 

So, we need to take action, visualize how we are in our ideal self and carefully take baby steps into that direction. It may be hard to notice at first, but it will build up and at the end of the day – we certainly have made it a bit further. Also, when we are this focused on ourselves, we barely have time to sit down and compare ourselves to others. In that case, chances may  be better of us finally viewing with a mind like “How can we do that?” instead of crossing our arms and thinking we are a lost case. It all lays in improving inwardly as a person. 

Truly, when we are heading towards the best version of ourselves, is there really anything that can top that? We cannot possibly be anything less or more than ourselves, and being the best version – well, that is all we can do? Right?

To sum up this post about how to stop comparing ourselves to others, we have learned some smaller things on how we can think when facing challenges, but also how we can direct our instant life by removing, unfollowing and decide who can be in our outer circle. Most importantly, what we have learned is that we need to focus on our ourselves first and beforehand. To grow and become the best version of ourselves. This will lead to a much happier life, a life without a negative comparison. A free life true to ourselves. We do deserve it.

Love, Emelena  – see you guys in June! 🙂

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